by John J. Walters
I’ve been talking a lot about technology in my posts these past two weeks; when to use it and when not to use it. This week, I thought I would take things back to the first post I wrote six weeks ago on the history of meetings. There are things that we can learn from ancient cultures that will help us out today, and I’m not just talking about weird medicinal herbs or mystical potions here.
I can’t even remember the first time I heard about “the talking stick†but I think it was from one my elementary school teachers. If I remembered more specifically, I would name names, because whoever invented it was a genius and whoever told me about it was a saint. I would love to give credit where credit is due, but both are too far in the past for me, its creator lost to history and its professor lost to other memories.
The general idea of the talking stick is to encourage listening as well as talking — something that any experienced meeting attendee knows can be a difficult thing indeed. The concept is simple. At every meeting you have a stick. It can be a large, ceremonial staff with intricate carvings or something as simple as a paper cup turned upside down with a smiley face drawn on it in magic marker.  The only requirements are that it must be visible, and easy to pass around.
When you hold the stick, you can speak. When you don’t hold the stick, you listen. If you want to hold the stick, you raise your hand. It’s as simple and elegant as that, although you can introduce all kinds of other twists on it. Below are a couple examples from my own experience:
- The stick can only be passed to the right (or left). No skipping is allowed so everyone must contribute.
- There is a time limit to holding the stick (I recommend using an egg timer, as it is often very difficult for people to self-regulate when they’re speaking).
- To hold the stick you have to answer a specific question or weigh in on a particular issue before saying anything else.
- To hold the stick you must remove an article of clothing (not actually recommended for business meetings).
You can take this idea and run with it. You can even claim that you invented it (although some people might have learned about it back in elementary school and call you out). I’ve used this for meetings and even during family dinners. It can be adapted to any situation that you think needs more listening and less interrupting. Good luck.